Women Just Want to Be Loved
Nowadays, we’re flooded with tons of reality TV shows, blogs and other media outlets portraying poor images of love and relationships. Additionally, they’re constantly shining the light on sidepieces and their extravagant lives usually afforded to them by athletes, movie stars or even their celebrity exes.
Because of this, many men assume most women have traded in some of the traditional values for what’s trendy. They think women are more interested in money and mansions instead of a man. It’s as if we live in a culture where some men – and even women – are less and less concerned about building solid and stable relationships.
For some men, it seems it’s easier to give a little to a lot of women than it is to give everything to one woman. So, instead of owning up to it, it’s much easier to give up and proclaim, “all women are gold diggers” or “these ho*%’s ain’t loyal.” By saying that, it takes the focus and attention off of oneself and places the blame or lack of “good women” on someone else.
However, contrary to popular belief – and I can’t speak for everyone – not every woman aspires to be who they see on TV, online, etc. There are women who still believe in real love and aren’t willing to sacrifice their morals and values just for the sake of being with someone. Good women still exist.
Not every woman is interested in being the sidepiece. There are women who are less concerned about being the main chick and more concerned about being the ONLY chick. Not every woman will put the good guy last. Not every woman is obsessed with money and/or labels. Of course I doubt most of us would turn down a nice, extravagant gift, but it’s not fair to assume that every woman is on the hunt for the next ATM – an Automated Teller Man.
So, for the mature man who’s ready to settle down and/or is trying to take your relationship to another level, here are a few helpful hints that will give you a little more insight into what a woman really wants (Side note for the ladies – feel free to use this as a creative tool to help convey to your man what you want…in a loving way of course).
Women want to feel confident in their man and their relationship.
The more trust and honesty we have, the more confident we will be about our man and the relationship. Women shouldn’t have to worry about checking text messages, phone calls, emails and the “DM” (social media) when we know our man is 100% committed to being loyal and trustworthy. We want to be able to tell our girlfriends with confidence, “I have a good man!”
Women want affection, attention and appreciation.
Whether it’s touching, kissing, hugging, holding hands or even intercourse, women want to feel like their man is attracted to them; keep in mind everyone communicates love in different languages. Beyond the affection and physical attention, we like when you pay attention and give us attention. We want to know we’re appreciated for our role as your woman, your wife or even the mother of your children. We want to know we’re appreciated for holding it down for you whether it’s through a simple, “Thank you” or your actions.
Women want passion, romance and effort.
When you have passion and romance, it’s the difference between lukewarm and hot. It’s the “I miss you” text or the “I just called to say I love you.” It’s the “just because” surprises, as well as the date nights, massages, rose petals and candles. While it doesn’t always require something extravagant, it does require consistency, thoughtfulness and effort.
Women want intimacy and a spiritual connection.
Beyond our physical desires, intimacy goes deeper. For most, it’s that spiritual connection – the feeling of knowing that God‘s love is weaved and threaded throughout the relationship. It’s the bond that can’t be undone because of the connection you share. Intimacy is created during those quiet moments at night or in the morning when all you’re doing is lying there talking or holding each other. It’s being fully aware of each others’ emotions and being able to discern what we need when we need it.
Women want to feel secure.
Beyond what most would assume as financial security, we want to know you’re committed to protecting our hearts from hurt or pain as much as you’re committed to protecting us physically from any hurt, harm or danger.
Women want to be loved.
It all boils down this: we just want to be loved. As much love that we have to give and want to give, we want a man who will reciprocate the same back to us through your words and your actions.
Awhile back, my husband found a wonderful quote and texted it to me. It read: “My most brilliant achievement thus far in life was my ability to persuade you to marry me.” When I saw the text, I literally got chills and felt butterflies in my stomach. I felt special. It reminded me that I was with someone who truly wanted me. Rather than feeling like he or I settled (and vice versa), I felt like I was truly chosen to be the love of his life; not by force or pressure but because he truly felt like I was “the one” and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.
Ultimately, this is the kind of love a lot of women want to experience in this lifetime. So, for every naysayer who claims women don’t want the real thing or they’re just concerned about the material things, there are at least 1,000 more women who will admit and tell you, “I just want to be loved.”
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