You Can Do It – Six Tips for Making it Through Cuffing Season

Tis the season. Yes, it’s that time of year that many people like to refer as “cuffing season” –  when you’re “cuffed” up and cuddled up with someone during the long fall and winter months.

While it sounds good and we can all agree that it feels really good to have someone to hold and stay warm with during cuffing season, but let’s be real…

Unfortunately, during this time, for some singles (not all) who aren’t “cuffed up” with anyone or in a committed relationship – whether by choice or force – it’s common to feel feel some type of way. You may start to feel overwhelmingly dismal, discontent, frustrated, or brokenhearted – especially when you’re scrolling through your social media timelines and you notice all of the pictures, stories, and updates celebrating things like “#HolidayWithBae,” or marriage proposals and engagements. At least that’s how I used to feel sometimes when I was single. 

If you’re starting to feel like that and are already planning or prepared to be a “party of one” this cuffing season, just know that you are not alone. We’ve all been there, and there are plenty of other people who can relate.

The good news is that you’ve been through tougher stuff than this, and you WILL make it through. Plus, I’ve got you covered with these six tips and ideas to help you make it through cuffing season.

1. Take advantage of the “me” time. 

There’s no better time to make it all about yourself when you’re by yourself. Cuffing season is traditionally known for cuddling with and catering to someone else, but it’s also a great time to cater to and make yourself a priority. Why not use this time, or any time for that matter, to pamper yourself and do some things that you’ve been putting off for some time, and without having to consider someone else? You could explore new adventures, do a photo shoot, try something new. Moreover, it’s the perfect time to make those dreams a reality. You know – that thing you wake up and go to sleep thinking about like: going back to school or getting certified, starting a business, starting a new career, pursuing your dream of becoming an entertainer, building a brand, writing a book, or starting a non-profit.

2. Plan a girls’ night out (#GNO) or a girls’ night in (#GNI).

Even Michele Obama clearly understands the importance of sisterhood and spending time with your girlfriends. She was recently quoted saying, “I love my husband, and he is my rock, but my girls are my sanity.” So, whether it’s a girls’ night in or a girls’ night out; whether you’re putting on some party clothes or some pajamas, grabbing drinks or grabbing snacks, laughing or crying…as long as you’re with your girlfriends, you’re likely to have some fun, and possibly forget, if even for a moment, that it’s cuffing season.

3. Host a theme party. 

You really don’t need a reason to celebrate and fellowship with your close friends and loved ones, but cuffing season does in fact provide a number of opportunities for you to create a theme party. Even if you don’t celebrate some of the holidays like Thanksgiving, Kwanzaa, or Christmas, there are plenty of other new and trendy themes and ideas you can choose from like an ugly sweater party, game night, a Saturday or Sunday brunch, or even a “friendsgiving” (similar to Thanksgiving, but instead of family members it includes mainly your friends and is usually organized as a potluck).

4. Catch up on a good book, movie, or television show.

With the extra time, you can easily catch up on some of the most popular and your favorite TV shows like “Insecure,” “Power,” “Queen Sugar,” as well as movies like “Hidden Figures” and “Girls Trip,” and a number of Netflix series, comedy specials.

Not to mention the fact that it’s always a great time to pick up and start a new book. There are thousands upon thousands of options and genres to choose from including, but not limited to: fiction, non-fiction, young adult, celebrity memoirs, inspirational/self-help (including a new one by yours set to release later this month titled, Find the Good in Goodbye: Daily Inspiration for Dealing with a Breakup*), business, history, and thought-provoking books and eBooks available in-stores and online; many of which are from a multitude of talented and knowledgeable women.

Keep in mind that depending on your level of sensitivity, it may be wise to avoid watching or reading certain things that could trigger negative sentiments or keep you down in the dumps during cuffing season.

5. Get involved and give back.

In case you didn’t notice, cuffing season happens to fall around the same time as the major holiday season. While serving others is something that should occur throughout the entire year, cuffing season is a great time to get more involved with your local community and give back especially if it’s been a long time. Consider things like: volunteering at a local shelter or hospital, feeding the homeless and less fortunate, or assisting the elderly.

6. Enjoy and cherish the extra, uninterrupted time with your family and friends.  

One of the major benefits of not having someone around during cuffing season is the fact that you will you won’t feel somewhat pressured to divvy up your time between him, his family, and your family, especially if your plan is to only keep them around temporarily. Not to mention, you eliminate the risk of worrying or having the complicated discussion about inviting each other over for family dinners and parties.

Sure, if you show up at different family and friends’ gatherings with no one, you will likely be inundated with questions like, “why are you still single,” “or why don’t you have a man,” (which is annoying), but honestly, there’s no getting around any line of questioning when it comes to family whether you’re single or married. Nonetheless, you won’t have to spend time and effort getting to know his family; nor will you have to figure out a way to explain to your family and friends the status of your relationship especially if it’s complicated or it’s merely a convenient “situation-ship.” You can focus your time and energy on those who matter most right now in your life.

This is your time right now – your time to shine. Single doesn’t mean stagnant. There’s a great quote that says, “Do something today that your future self will thank you for.” I can imagine that it gets frustrating at times, and you have the right to feel what you feel and be honest about your feelings. But you also have the right to live your best life regardless of your relationship status.