Stop Comparing These 5 Things To Someone Else’s Life
I expressed the other day via social media how some days I take mental breaks from all of it, because I have to allow time for my mental state to re-align with reality versus what is perceived as reality. As I’ve said before, comparison kills confidence. So, if you’re not careful, social media can make you feel empowered and as if you can do anything, and then turn around and make you feel like you’re not doing enough.
Whether it’s real-life or the world of social media, I want to encourage you not to compare your:
1. Relationships
It’s easy to get caught up in #RelationshipGoals especially when it comes to social media. While everyone else is having date night, enjoying “Bae,” getting engaged or getting married, you’re still wondering if “the one” still exists or if it will even happen for you. Trust and know that for every date night picture you see online, there are things going on behind the scenes that you may not be privy to. There’s a difference between admiring another relationship and coveting another’s relationship, so much so that you try to mold yours into what you see on television, social media, or even in real-life. Enjoy your singleness or relationship for what it is, because the moment you take your eyes off your relationship and put it on someone else’s, you miss what’s most important and unique about your own. At the end of the day, marriage should reflect the love of God, not someone else’s relationship.
2. Success and Progress
“When is it going to happen for me? Why am I not where they are? When is my ‘glow-up’ going to happen? It seems like it happened overnight for them.” Nowadays, it seems like the “glow-up” is happening for everyone in an instant. They’re graduating with Phd’s, starting new businesses, getting TV shows, being featured on national shows, fulfilling their dreams, traveling the world 24/7…the list goes on and on. However, behind that success, you can’t see the struggle.
When you start to question your progress or your journey, ask yourself, “Have I really put in as much time and effort behind whatever it is I’m trying to do, or have I just been skating along?” So many of the people today that appear to have had overnight success have put years and/or hours and hours of time, and resources into pursuing their passion and dreams. Consistency is key. Your heart produces the passion, but it’s your hustle that produces the results. Trust the process and trust God. The last thing you want to do is rush and force something to happen that isn’t fully developed.
3. Physical Body
It’s hard some days to look on Instagram and see certain women with certain body shapes – whether younger or older – who may be skinnier or thicker than you. Moreover, the media, Hollywood, the magazines for years now, and even these new photoshop apps, have tricked us into thinking that there is a standard when it comes to beauty. Love the skin you’re in, and if you want to make a change, then do it because it’s the best thing for you, not because you want to look like someone else.
4. Motherhood timeline
When Eric and I first got married, there was pressure all around for me to have a baby, but that just wasn’t something I was in a rush to do. The older I get, though, the more I realize that I really don’t have control over any of it. Whether it’s through IVF or some other induced fertility method, that’s not always a guarantee. Hence, when people ask me when we’re going to have a baby, I’m not afraid to respond by saying, “It’s up to Jesus,” because at the end of the day I realize that ultimately He’s responsible for creating new life. I’m just the tool He uses to carry it through.
So, if you have children, don’t compare your mothering style to someone else’s especially if it works for you and your family. If you’re not a mother yet, don’t compare your timeline to someone else’s timeline.
5. Dreams and Goals
It’s easy to look around and take on someone else’s passion, purpose, or goals and claim them as your own because it sounds interesting and exciting. I had a friend tell me one day, “I wish my dreams were as big and elaborate as yours,” (mind you, she’s very successful in her own right and field), but I reminded her that it’s not about how big or elaborate they are, because God has a specific plan and purpose for everyone. Rather, the most important thing is to listen to the voice inside of you and to follow through on God’s plan for YOUR life.
I was listening to Myleik’s podcast the other day titled “Stay in your lane.” It reminded me that you have to do what you can do to the best of your ability, not based on what you see everyone else doing. If you do a particular thing well and it works well for you, then do that. Otherwise, people will make you feel like you should be doing everything, and you’ll end up doing everything mediocre versus doing one thing or a few things really well.
I think “Stay in your lane” applies to all facets of our lives. Be you and do you like no other, because there is only one you.
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