Man Up: 5 Dating Declarations Men Need To Understand

First and foremost, let me give a shout-out to my husband and all of the hardworking, wonderful men out there who are taking care of their responsibilities, and showing us how great it feels to have a good man.

It’s interesting, however, because nowadays it’s easy to look up and find an article, a blog, a book, a TV show, a seminar, or even a movie that’s constantly telling women what to look for in a man, how to think like a man, how to get a man, how to keep a man…the list goes on and on. While it’s obvious why women are targeted more from a marketing perspective, it still poses the question – why aren’t there as many men telling other men what they could or should be doing? There has to be balance when we have these conversations.

While I understand I can’t tell a man how to be a man (and vice versa), I believe all of us have areas of improvement when it comes to love and relationships. Plus, I know plenty of single women who are doing the right things, but for the wrong man.

So, in the spirit of improving and encouraging healthy relationships, I hope to inspire and initiate positive dialogue and action. This is for my ladies – a flag to wave in support of my single sisters who deserve good men and are tired of those, not all, who continue to play games and refuse to man up.

Quit saying “I love you” when your actions say otherwise.

Whether you believe it or not, your actions can really have a long-term affect on the heart and soul of a woman. They say love hurts, but in actuality it doesn’t. It’s the absence or misuse of love that creates heartache and pain. If you love her, then show it. Wouldn’t you rather be the guy she can brag and speak highly about to her friends and family versus the one she has to constantly complain and cry about? I love that I know that my man loves me, and others do too. “I can tell that he really loves you,” is one of the best compliments anyone could say about my relationship.

Stop using “I’m a man. That’s what men do,” as an excuse to do bad things to good women. Godly men aren’t afraid to be good men, and games are for little boys. So, stop playing games and man up.

Stop expecting her to wait while you run the streets.

“I’m not ready. I just need more time to do me.” Although some women tend to wait longer than they should, it’s not okay to string a woman along and not only make her wait, but also make her feel bad about moving on or dating someone else. Men have to stop taking advantage of the fact that they’ve tricked women into thinking comfort and convenience are substitutes for love. Either let her move on and live without you, or show her that you can’t live without her. Otherwise, the day you finally decide to stop running, she may end up running into the arms of someone else, and then it will be too late.

Your relationship status is either married or single, not ‘married but single.’

When you’re married, people shouldn’t look at you and question it. I shouldn’t have to hear about single women who receive more DM’s and requests from married men than they do single men. Please understand that text messages and DM’s are receipts that can, and will be used against you, and could destroy your wife, your marriage, and your family. We’ve seen it happen plenty of times before on social media.

How awesome would it be if some guys put as much effort into being loyal to their wives as they do with pursuing sidepieces? As with anything in life, whatever you water will grow and whatever you nourish will flourish. So, instead of focusing on everything else around you, focus and take care of what’s in front of you – your wife and your family – and stay out of the single ladies’ DM.

Texting is not courting.

Stop being lazy and start putting in some effort. If you can’t remember the last time you took a lady out on a real date, or the last time you proactively pursued a woman beyond texting and ‘Netflix and Chill,’ but you keep asking ‘where are all the good women,’ then it’s probably time for you to step your dating and courting game up. Show these ladies that chilvary isn’t dead even if they act like they don’t need you to open their door, send them flowers and candy, or do things for them. Sometimes you don’t know what you’re missing until you actually experience it. A little effort can go a long way. I could go on for days about this, but you can learn and read more about that via: “The Re-birth of Courtship: 4 Things Men Need to Know About It.”

Quit complaining about the independent woman if you’re not willing to be the man she can depend on.

Just because a woman is independent doesn’t necessarily mean she wants or chooses to be. If you’re raised without a father or your ex walks out on you and your children, then you’re practically forced to take on the independent role. However, instead of being intimidated or making her feel bad because of her “boss-like” qualities, allow her drive and determination to help fuel you, so you can stop making excuses and start making moves. For every so-called independent woman, there’s a “Jody” from Baby Boy (for lack of a better description). The “Jody’s” are more concerned with being a ‘kept man’ instead being concerned with getting and keeping a good woman.

I’ve heard men say there are too many women proclaiming that they don’t need a man, but there are plenty of women, even those who aren’t willing to openly admit it, who are still waiting for someone they can truly depend on as their man and their lover. They desire someone who is loyal, fully committed, honest, trustworthy, and has some type of stability. Even after all of the accolades, eduction, and goals achieved, there are women who still desire real love. At the end of the day, she wants to believe that her man is and will go as hard for her as she does for him.

Just like my husband helped reaffirm the assertion that good men still exist, I know plenty of single sisters who are waiting and willing to pronounce the same for the men who who are ready to prove it to them. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to man up and strive to be a good man to a good woman.