New Year, New Relationships: 5 Types of People You Need to Release
We all have #SquadGoals and #RelationshipGoals but as we go into the New Year, we have to ask ourselves: “What do my relationships say about me? Who is on my team? How do I contribute as a team member.” At the end of the day, the people you’re connected to can influence the next level you want to go to. Moreover, the way we allow others to treat us is often a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.
I, along with two other fabulous ladies and goal getters, recently wrapped up a woman’s empowerment event, “She Uplifts,” and I shared with the ladies 5 types of negative people we need to release in order to make more room for more positivity.
1. People/relationships that make more withdrawals than deposits.
Are they spiritual leeches or contributors – do they suck the life out of you or do they add to your life? Some people are known for literally draining your bank account because they’re always asking for a dollar here, or a hundred there, or even a thousand. If a relationship – whether platonic or romantic – is taking more from your spiritual bank account than it’s putting in, then it may be time to close the account. No matter the relationship, a healthy one shouldn’t make you feel drained or empty on the inside all of the time. Think of it as balancing a checkbook or your online account – always make sure there’s a healthy balance of withdrawals and deposits on both sides.
2. People who say no to you or reject you.
If you pay close attention, even when people aren’t speaking, you can tell when they’re saying “no” to you whether friends or lovers (i.e., ignore your calls or text messages, stop calling, spend less time together, etc.). Whether communicated directly or indirectly, take heed and don’t ignore the signs. You don’t have to always break your back trying to be there for someone who’s never there for you. Also, understand that indecision is a decision sometimes. If their indecision in 2016 wasn’t enough sign for you, then it may be time for you to make a decision to move on in 2017.
3. People who repeatedly hurt or mistreat you (especially when it becomes harmful to your spiritual, mental, or physical health).
Many of us can admit there are times when we’ve allowed certain people to stay around longer than necessary, or we allowed them to take advantage of us more often than not. Instead of happiness there was hurt. Instead of laughter there were tears. However, comfort and convenience aren’t replacements love. Simply put, healthy relationships yield healthy results. It’s one thing to go through rough times, but there shouldn’t be more bad than good. There shouldn’t be more pain than pleasure. Understand that people hide behind words, but they can’t hide behind actions. If it’s bad to you, then it’s bad for you. So, let their actions speak louder than their words; and if or when they’re actions aren’t enough, be bold enough to take action and move on.
4. “Negative Nancy” and “Dream Killers”
Have you ever told someone your dreams or goals, but their response wasn’t as encouraging as you imagined? People will either ignore your dreams or ignite them whether on purpose or even unknowingly. Please understand that you can’t always share your big dreams with small minded people. Everyone won’t get it, and that’s fine because if it’s for you then it’s for and as long as you understand it that’s all that matters. However, don’t let them cast their doubt and fear on you and keep you from walking in your purpose. Ignore the dream killers. Plus, if they don’t believe in their own dreams or potential, why would they believe in yours? Some people can only see as far as they can physically see, but your perseverance could ultimately help them have a different outlook on life. Be careful who you tell certain things to. Some people would rather hear about your stress than celebrate your success.
5. Messy Jessy
Messy Jessy, as I like to call him/her, seems to always have a problem, or they’re involved in some type of drama that of course wasn’t their fault. I’m happy to know that my life involves little to none unnecessary drama because I don’t surround myself with that type of mess. As a married woman, it’s even that much more important, because I can’t risk “Messy Jessy’s” problems spilling over into my marriage. The less drama, the better.
Releasing negativity allows for more for positivity to enter our lives. If you’re surrounded by mostly negativity and negative people, consider re-positioning yourself and meeting other like-minded, positive people.