Everybody Won’t Get It: 5 Things Every Goal-Getter Needs to Know Before Sharing Their Dreams
It’s difficult sometimes when you make the conscious decision to pursue a new goal and live out your dreams. Whether you decide to start a business, start a blog, start an organization, change careers, transition from one state to another, go on a mission trip, or explore a new country, it can be terrifying, yet exhilarating, all at the same time. More times than not, it’s quite natural to want to update your status, call up someone, and tell them about your plans, but before you do, let me caution you before you say anything based on what I’ve experienced.
People won’t understand you.
I’m not for everybody and everybody ain’t for me (excuse my slang). That’s just the honest truth. There are things that are revealed to us and things we want to accomplish, but not everyone will understand, but they don’t have to when it’s just for you. Everybody doesn’t have to get it when they’re not the ones trying to get it. That’s why you have to be careful who you share things with. There’s a great quote that says, “Don’t tell your big dreams to small minded people.” No shade, but if they don’t believe in their own dreams, why would they believe in yours?
Tip: Surround yourself with like-minded people who have been where you are or are going where you’re going. They’re more likely to empathize with you and your experiences.
People will project their doubt and fear on you.
I’ve had situations where I’ve told people about things I wanted to do and they responded with a ton of questions, “Well aren’t there a lot of people already doing that? How are you going to pay for that? How will you have time to do that? I don’t know if I could do that if it were me.” They were basically asking all the same questions that I had already considered.
At times, people are sincerely trying to be considerate by helping you think through some things, but sometimes, and even unbeknownst to them, they will cast their doubts and fears onto you. Since they’re scared to take a risk, or because they’re afraid to take a risk they will convince you to do the same. They will inadvertently kill a dream before it even becomes a reality, but don’t let their trepidation trip you up. Resist the urge to share everything as soon as possible. It feels much better when you hear those same questions AFTER the fact and you’re able to respond with how you did it versus how you plan to do it.
Tip: Don’t be passive about your purpose. Resist the urge to share everything as soon as possible, and be mindful of not only who you share certain things with, but also when you decide to share it.
It’s not always easy for others to see you in a new and different light.
I wasn’t always the woman I am today. I definitely had some crazy, “young and dumb” days during my college years. Because my friends knew me in my “former life” – before I was married and when I had relationship issues – I understand it may be difficult for them to see me doing what I do today. It can be inspiring for some, but difficult for others to see the girl who used to have issues with loving herself transition to a woman who now inspires and helps others who are dealing with some of the same issues.
Quite honestly, some people don’t want to see you change, simply because they’re committed to staying the same. They’re more committed to who you were than who you’ve become, but don’t let that discourage you from evolving. Don’t let that their old perceptions stop your progression. If they can’t grow with you, then they can’t go with you.
Tip: Show and prove. Whoever or whatever it is that you want them to see you, be and do exactly that whether they notice or not. Ultimately, you’ll shine so bright that it’ll be a testament of how God can take an ugly past and still create a beautiful future.
Your friends and family aren’t your target audience.
I was listening to one of Myleik’s podcats the other day and she stated, “If the success of your business is based on whether or not your friends/family purchase your products/services, then you have the wrong mindset. Your friends are only responsible for being your friends.”
It’s hard sometimes when you start a new chapter, because you expect your friends to go hard for you and your business, but quite honestly, whatever you offer may not be what they need at that moment. If you’re able to do what you do and they’re still able to be a good friend, then that should be enough. The more you rely on your family and friends, the more you open yourself up to disappointment and resentment when they fail to meet your expectations.
Tip: Let your clients be your clients, and let your friends be your friends. Consider their willingness to go above and beyond to support you as an added bonus.
Don’t expect everyone to support you or celebrate your success
“They say misery loves company, but so does mediocrity.” (Hal Elrod) It’s sad but true – people want to see you doing well, but not better than them. If they’re not developing into the person they want to be, then the last thing they want to see is you doing anything that resembles growth and progression. Some people would rather hear about your stress instead of your success.
I’ve literally had people throw shade or tell me, “I’m praying against you so that it doesn’t happen.” Although they laughed it off as a joke, I knew they were lightweight serious. Ever since then, I’ve refrained from telling certain people about certain accomplishments, and every accomplishment doesn’t have to be shared anyway. Sometimes, it’s just better to just let your actions speak for themselves.
Tip: Don’t wait on anyone else to cheer for you. Be your own cheerleader, and support those who support you.