7 Inspirational Declarations For Every DreamHer
A few weeks ago, I had the wonderful pleasure of attending the #DreamHerFest here in Atlanta, Georgia, where I was able to meet and hear from some talented and professional female entrepreneurs including Necole Kane (CEO and Editor in Chief of xoNecole, and someone who has truly inspired me personally), as well as Dr. Nicole Garner Scott (host of the event and CEO of The Garner Circle).
Similar to how I like to try and keep it real about love and relationships, I appreciated and was so inspired by how Necole and Dr. Scott were so transparent and candid about their experiences as entrepreneurs and life in general. Not only did they provide new insights and “aha moments,” but they confirmed a lot of what I know to be true based on my own personal experiences as a female “goal getter.”
Nevertheless, I wanted to share some of the key take-aways and insights I was able to glean from their sessions.
1. I am willing to step out of my comfort zone even if it makes others feel uncomfortable.
I’m sure that when Necole decided to reposition her brand – during what was a very successful time for “Necole Bitchie” – some people were confused and surprised with the transition. But that didn’t stop her, and it should stop us from doing what we’re supposed to be doing as well. Often times, those uncomfortable moments and the struggle periods become the best parts of the eventual successful story. Unfortunately, some people will make you feel uncomfortable about your decisions because they are not courageous enough to take a leap of faith. Everybody won’t get it and everybody won’t understand it, but guess what? They don’t have to when it’s meant for you.
2. Isolation is good for my preparation.
If you’re not careful, distractions can quickly turn into never-ending detours. So, sometimes you have to remove those distractions whether they’re people, places, or things. At one point, Necole talked about how, as an entrepreneur, it can be very isolating, and she mentioned how at times she proactively chose to be isolated in order to allow time to get to know herself. At one point, she physically went to another place because she knew people were going to talk her out of some of the decisions she made.
I, too, have had (and continue to have) bouts of isolation from people, places and things including social media. I have learned that there is introspection in isolation. It yields clarity and often helps me to hear and see things more clearly. Not to mention the fact that comparison kills confidence when it comes to comparing your life to others who you see on social media.
3. I will only commit to my dream if I’m willing to be consistent.
Opportunity tends to show up where commitment and consistency meet. Like they say, “if you stay ready, then you don’t have to get ready.” It’s one thing to act like you’re committed to something by posting pictures and certain things, but how committed are you to your dream when nobody’s watching? The day I decided to truly invest in my dreams – time, money, resources, sacrifices – was the the day my dreams turned into reality.
Like Necole said, “someone is always watching.” So, the day you decide to give up could very well be the day that someone decides to give you a chance. Nothing happens overnight. Staying committed also means staying consistent.
4. I will not chase after things at the cost of my peace.
Prosperity doesn’t always guarantee peace. I have never regretted any decision where I chose peace of mind over prosperity. I have accepted offers and positions where I made less money simply because I knew that I couldn’t put a price tag on my own sanity. Trust and know that just because it is an opportunity doesn’t mean it’s the right opportunity, or the right time. For some of us, that may even mean getting rid of our big egos so we can make room for bigger blessings.
Necole discussed how “we put so much emphasis on being relevant…and that’s what keeps people stuck in a place where they don’t want to be or doing something they no longer enjoy.” At the end of the day, we have to ask ourselves: Am I doing what I’m doing merely for popularity or for a greater purpose?
5. I am canceling my subscription to negative issues.
There is no rule that says I have to subscribe to negative energy. Hence, I do not have to hang on or hang out with certain friends or people if I know they will only come with baggage packed with pessimism. Necole talked about the fact that she is “mindful of her energy,” and how important it is for us to constantly feed ourselves positive energy whether through the things we’re listening to or paying attention to, as well as the people who surround us. Whether it’s an inspirational or thought-provoking podcast, song, book, conference, ritual, or an actual person, we have to be more proactive about feeding our hearts, minds, and bodies with healthy things.
6. Even though I may be a boss, I still need to take breaks to prevent myself from breaking down.
Even a “boss” needs a break. Dr. Nicole did a rapid fire talk and got all up in my business without even knowing it. She discussed the importance of “creating breathing room” and how “living with no breathing room makes us operate out of stress and fear.” Hence, instead of being present and in the moment for the things that matter most, our minds and our bodies are constantly consumed and concerned about the next thing. I am learning more and more everyday that if I am not intentional about taking more breaks, then eventually it will cause me to breakdown.
As women, and I’m totally guilty of it at times, we often invest in everything and everyone else except ourselves. But even a boss needs a break and some breathing room. Dr. Nicole had me ponder on one question when she said, “Are the people you’re committed to just as committed to you?” And that’s when it hit me…I can no longer break my back for people who aren’t even willing to lift a finger for me (not to be confused with serving others or community service). No more constant withdrawals from people who never make any deposits. Furthermore, I can no longer feel guilty or feel pressured to do or be something for someone who isn’t willing to do or be that for themselves.
7. When people underestimate me, God upgrades me.
It’s sad, but true, that some people would rather hear about your stress than your success; or your nightmares instead of your dreams. That’s why I am very strategic and careful about who I share certain things with. Whenever you decide to do something different or courageous, and especially if it’s something that the world may see or that could have an impact on a lot of people, there will always be “hecklers,” “trolls,” or someone waiting to throw shade because they don’t want to see you shine.
To know that Necole had difficult moments – including that time when she had to deal with the heart-wrenching headline about her that read “From Boss to Broke;” – but now to see her rise above all of the negativity and know that she’s re-writing her own story – that’s what I call an upgrade. Even though she got emotional and admitted how difficult that was for her, she didn’t give into the haters, and most importantly she didn’t give up…and you shouldn’t either.