6 Relationship Goals You Should Commit to This Year
Nowadays, it’s fairly common to look at couples we see on television, the big screen, or on social media and immediately declare “#RelationshipGoals” merely based off of limited information. I can admit that even as a married woman, sometimes it’s easy to look at other couples and for a moment and aspire to what they have without knowing the full story behind their love story.
Moreover, we often affirm or create relationship goals for every type of relationship at the expense of one of the most important interactions – the one with ourselves. Ask yourself: “When is the last time I worked on the relationship with me, myself, and I?” The personal relationship you have with yourself is critical because if you can’t be happy with yourself, then you can’t really be happy with anyone else.
Hence, before you commit to or desperately yearn to have a connection with someone else, consider the following goals that can help improve your relationships all around.
1. Expect more for yourself.
Don’t settle for mediocre just because you’re frustrated or because it’s comfortable or convenient. Just because you’re used to a certain way, doesn’t mean that’s the way you deserve to be treated. The more I started to expect for myself, the more I refused to settle for anything less. Your expectations say a lot in terms of how you think you should be treated and how others think you should be treated. So, don’t be afraid to clearly communicate your expectations. People will either meet or exceed your expectations, and for those who don’t just remember: sometimes you have to meet people where they are and sometimes you have to leave them there.
2. Put out old flames that are harmful to you or no longer useful for you.
Convenience is comfortable, but it’s not always courageous; let alone the best situation for you. When it comes to staying in broken relationships for so long or waiting for someone to get it together, people always ask me, “how long should I wait,” but honestly, it varies for different people. All I know is if you feel like you’ve been waiting too long, then it’s probably been too long. Moreover, their indecision last year may be the sign for you to make a decision this year. You can’t expect to experience something new if you’re still committed to old habits. Don’t miss out on your potential future just because you’re looking in the rearview mirror of the past.
3. Choose those who choose you.
In other words, you never have to chase after someone who wants to be with you. If they want to be with you, they will be with you. Make time for those who make time for you. In case you missed the memo, YOU are the prize and you have a lot to offer to someone. So, remember to love yourself regardless if someone makes it obvious to you that they’ve chosen to move on or have chosen someone else. Just because they may give up on you or the relationship doesn’t mean you need to give up on yourself.
4. Follow your gut and intuition.
If it doesn’t feel right, then it’s probably not right. If it doesn’t feel good to you, then it’s probably not good for you. Personally, as I like to say, if God ain’t in it, then I don’t want to be in it. Whether you call it a gut feeling, female intuition, the holy spirit, or whatever, take heed to the warning signs. You don’t always have to get other people to affirm what you already know within yourself.
5. Be open to trying new things and meeting new people.
Don’t be scared! Whether it’s trying out online dating, attending “meet up” groups, trying new experiences, traveling to new places, or simply putting yourself out there – be open to trying new or different things. Sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone in order to step into something new and fresh. If you’ve been doing the same things and getting the same results, it may be time to switch things up.
6. Live your life.
No matter your relationship status, you should be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say “I’m good no matter my relationship status.” I always hear people say, “The man you’re waiting on is waiting on you, or he is on the way.” But real talk – that may not be true for everyone, especially if you’re not ready for it. Everybody’s journey is different. So, who’s to say who will get married and who will be single. All I know is, regardless of your situation, I don’t want you to miss out on this life – YOUR LIFE – this moment, this opportunity…the gift of life that God has blessed you with. Make it work by making it happen – whatever that may look like for you.